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Postpartum Depression: When having a baby
gives you more than the blues
by Karen Kleiman, MSW

Part Four

When a baby is born, everyone expects that this will be the best time in their life. No one expects this time to be complicated by tears, frustrations, feelings of inadequacy, anxiety attacks and/or depression. It doesn’t always make sense and it certainly isn’t fair.

If you have had a baby in the past few months and are experiencing some of the feelings listed above (or know someone who is), here are some self-help points to keep in mind:

  1. It is important to make your own needs a priority. Make up your mind that some things are just going to have to wait. The laundry can wait. The thank-you notes can wait. Straightening up the guest room can wait. Taking care of yourself is one of the very best things you can do for your baby!

  2. Eat, rest, exercise: It is very easy to let your basic needs slide as you busily take care of everyone else. Although it might appear to be obvious, it is essential that you continue to take care of your physical needs. Eat nutritiously and rest whenever you can find the opportunity. That means three good meals a day, particularly if you are breastfeeding, and when your baby naps, it is NOT a good time to catch up on housework -- it is time to close your eyes, or read a good book for fun. Minimal exercise (a walk around your neighborhood) is a great way to keep your body and mind functioning at its best. It will contribute to how your feel, as well as how you look!

  3. Do not be afraid of your feelings. Try to remember that your feelings are a sign that you may require extra support or reinforcement and not necessarily that something terrible is wrong. If you continue to feel badly for more than two weeks, it would be worth your while to check out how you are feeling with a professional. You may be amazed at how much better you can feel when you acknowledge your feelings and have them validated by someone who cares.

  4. Take one day at a time. Try not to expect too much from yourself right now. Do not expect yourself to proceed right into whatever you were able to do prior to the birth of your baby. Set small, achievable goals for yourself.

When a baby is born, everyone expects that this will be the best time in their life. No one expects this time to be complicated by tears, frustrations, feelings of inadequacy, anxiety attacks and/or depression. It doesn’t always make sense and it certainly isn’t fair.

Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to women who experience depression and anxiety after the birth of their babies. Mothers themselves, their families, and society must learn to accept that the symptoms are not an indication of any failure or weakness, but rather expressions of a disorder that is widely misunderstood. Postpartum depression is a very treatable condition and the prognosis is excellent for complete recovery.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

About the Author: Karen Kleiman, MSW, is a clinical social worker and mother of two who writes and lectures on the subject of postpartum depression. She is the author of This isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression (Bantam Books, 1994). Ms. Kleiman is founder and director of The Postpartum Stress Center which provides educational consultation, diagnostic assessment, and group & individual therapy for women and their families who experience difficulties related to pregnancy, pregnancy loss and the postpartum period.

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