Announce your pregnancy, and you will be bombarded with all kinds of advice:

• “Don’t let the baby sleep in your bed!”
• “Letting the baby sleep in your bed makes her feel secure!”
• “Feed the baby whenever he seems hungry!”
• “Keep the baby on a strict three-hour schedule!”

It’s enough to make you hide out in the hospital with a full nursing staff to help raise your baby through the teen years.

Here is some advice – advice that no one ever mentions, but mothers know it’s true – “The Jinx.” What is the Jinx? Let me give you some examples:

You think:
“Since Junior is playing so quietly with his puzzles, I am going to sit down for a minute and pay bills, return phone calls, etc.”

The Jinx:
As soon as you sit down to act on this thought, Junior will throw the puzzles against the wall and demand to be held for the next 45 minutes.

You tell your playgroup:
“I’m so glad Junior isn’t aggressive. He never hits or bites and seems to get along so well with all of the children.”

The Jinx:
You spend the next three months leaving the playgroup in tears because Junior was hitting, biting or throwing everything in sight.

You tell your mom:
“Everyone in our family has been healthy this summer.”

The Jinx:
One by one everyone will come down with strep throat, followed by ear infections and an unexplained rash.

You confide in your husband:
“I’m so glad we have a 2-year-old who doesn’t throw tantrums.”

The Jinx:
You have a 3-year-old who does.

You tell your pediatrician at Junior’s 6-month visit:
“He is such a great sleeper! He sleeps for 10 to 12 hours a night!"

The Jinx:
Teeth will immediately start popping through his gums, and fluid will begin to settle in his ears. Expect these symptoms to cause two to three hours of crying each night for the next three weeks.

You tell the baby-sitter:
“Just put Junior in his crib when it’s bedtime. He never cries when we put him to sleep.”

The Jinx:
You will be interrupted at the restaurant by a phone call just as the main course is being placed on your candlelit table. An exasperated baby-sitter (and Junior screaming in the background) swears she has done everything short of getting in the crib with him, but he will not go to sleep. She, of course, would like for you to come home immediately. When you arrive, Junior and the baby-sitter are fast asleep on the couch.

You tell yourself:
“I’m starving! I’ll sit down and have something to eat.”

The Jinx:
Junior immediately has a dirty diaper that would make even the most experienced mom lose her appetite. The diaper change is followed by an evening of wails and shrieks whenever you attempt to sit down at the table.

You tell your former college roommate, who is in town for a visit with her child:
“It’s nice that the kids are old enough to entertain each other upstairs so we can catch up.”

The Jinx:
You hear two screams followed by a loud thud, breaking glass and running water, which turns out to be $250 worth of damage to the bathroom.

You tell your child’s preschool teacher:
“I forgot to bring a change of clothes for Junior. But it should be fine since he never has accidents.”

The Jinx:
He has an accident.

You caution your children at the dinner table:
“Be careful! Do not spill your milk!”

The Jinx:
As you reach over their cups to hand them their dinner plates, you spill their milk all over the mashed potatoes.

You tell your pool-owning friend:
“Junior should be fine without arm floats. He’s afraid of the water and never goes in.”

The Jinx:
Before you can finish the sentence, Junior has done an almost perfect cannonball into the deep end. Your fully-clothed friend jumps in to save him as you faint on to the lawn chair.

You bump into a friend who you haven’t seen in over a year and ask:
“When is your baby due?”

The Jinx:
Your friend’s husband walks up pushing their 6-week-old son in the stroller.

Your best friend plans a surprise baby shower for you and tells all of your friends:
“Don’t blow the surprise! We have never been able to actually pull off a surprise party!”

The Jinx:
You surprise them! Your water breaks the day of the shower. As guests start to arrive at your party, no one knows that you are at the hospital, dilated to 8 centimeters and about ready to push.

You tell your friend:
“It’s so nice that our sons are at an age where they are no longer hitting and pushing.”

The Jinx:
Your son’s teacher calls to set up a conference with you about how your son won’t stop hitting and pushing.

Your 5-year-old son yells from upstairs:
“Mom, I wanted to see if Aquaman could swim while being flushed by a bad guy. Now the water won’t stop coming out of the potty!”

The Jinx:
There is no Jinx for this one – instead, a glass of red wine is suggested.

When you are pregnant, you decide:
“My baby will not watch television until he is 2 years old. And even then, we will limit TV to 30 minutes a day.”

The Jinx:
After your third child is born, you greet your 2-year-old and 4-year-old each morning with, “Who wants to watch a video?”

You tell your friends:
“My husband has been so helpful with the baby.”

The Jinx:
Your husband will have a sudden urge to work on his golf game, back hand or fly fishing technique. He should reappear in the next 10 to 15 years.

You exclaim to anyone who will listen:
“Raising a child is so hard!”

The Jinx:
You won’t realize how easy you had it until you bring your second child home from the hospital.

So what can be learned from “The Jinx” advice? Enjoy the afternoons at the park, the unprompted “thank you” when you hand your child his milk and the nights when everyone gets eight consecutive hours of sleep. But stay on your toes! Tomorrow brings new milestones to reach, new challenges to overcome and new objects to shove in the VCR!

Want to see more?

• Mommy's Day Out
• Soon They'll Be Walking: A Mom Grows Up
• Baby's Day Out
• Talk about it!