Your Crying Older Baby
Once feeding problems have been resolved and colic has peaked, your baby may cry for new reasons. He may catch his first cold, and, if you and he are unlucky, the cold may lead to his first ear infection. With the ear infection could come the most acute pain he will have yet experienced. Your baby will probably also get his first vaccination, and he may have a reaction to it. When he starts to eat solid foods, he is likely to have some bouts with diaper rash. And about the same time he starts on solids, your baby will, more or less painfully, cut his first tooth. Soon thereafter, he will probably begin to cry from a fear of being separated from you, and he just won't be himself as long as you are away.

The inner logic goes something like this: "He's crying because he's uncomfortable." "He's sleeping because he needs rest." "He's asking me to carry him because it makes him feel better." "He wants to sleep next to me because he feels safer that way."

Notes To Dad

	Try to get home on time. Things can crumble in those last few minutes that your partner is waiting.
	Take the baby away from the house for an hour or two so Mom can nap or take a leisurely bath.
	Talk to the baby and say nice things about her. Mom wants to know there is something lovable about her.
	Lend a listening ear to your partner. Maybe you can't cure colic, but there is much relief in feeling understood.
	Offer to take Mom on an outing. She might say she is too tired, but she needs adult companionship almost as much as sleep.
	Make a run for take-out food or cook dinner yourself.
	Take over the baby right after dinner or at some other definite time each evening for half an hour or more. (Gentle, quiet touching, talking, and humming work better before bedtime than vigorous play.)
	Try letting your baby sleep on your bare chest.

When you can count on a few minutes' break from your baby, try progressively relaxing different parts of your body while concentrating on a single image in your mind. Follow these steps:

1. Lie quietly on the floor, on the couch, or in bed, in whatever position is most comfortable for you.
2. Close your eyes, and keep them closed.
3. Slowly take three deep breaths. Inhale through your nose as deeply as you can, and then exhale through your mouth as slowly as you can.
4. Breathe normally for about one minute as you picture a place of awesome beauty, such as mountains, a meadow, or a seashore.
5. Take a deep breath, and clench your left hand as tightly as you can.
6. Exhale slowly through your mouth as you hold your hand tightly closed.
7. Slowly unclench the hand and concentrate on the relaxed feeling this gives you.
8. Breathe normally, and concentrate on your beautiful vision for one minute.
9. Take a deep breath, and tighten your right hand, repeating steps 6 through 8. Do the same with other parts of your body, such as your legs, your jaw, and your back.
10. Lie still, breathing normally, for a couple of minutes before getting up.

After some practice in progressive relaxation, try staying calm in the face of stress -- that is, in the face of your howling baby. As you go about trying to soothe him, imagine him as smiling and thriving, even though he may seem hopelessly far from that image right now. Picture yourself holding this peaceful baby as you walk through a beautiful meadow. Breathe deeply and relax your muscles as you have done while lying down.

If you suffer from chronic muscular stiffness and pain, you may need regular massages. Maybe your partner can provide them, when the baby goes to sleep, or perhaps you'll want to seek the help of a massage therapist or physical therapist. Loosening up those tight spots and keeping them loose can help you feel better about your body and your baby.

What Causes Colic?
Doctors and scientists have been trying to find the cause of colic for over half a century now. The reports from hundreds of studies of colicky babies are confusing and often contradictory. Some have claimed miracle cures that are hard to believe -- babies suddenly got better when parents kept their booties on twenty-four hours a day, or fed them sugar water, or took eyelashes out of their eyes. Most of these studies involved only a few colicky babies and no controls, so we can't know whether the cure really worked or whether the babies got better because they outgrew the problem or their diet or environment changed. More often than not, the results of these studies could not be duplicated when the experiments were run again.

Perhaps the most valuable colic studies have focused on the baby's belly. Throughout history, people have believed that the constantly crying baby was experiencing some kind of abdominal pain; the word colic, in fact, comes from the Greek work kolikos, an adjective derived from kolon meaning the large intestine. We still don't know, however, whether belly pain is always or even usually the cause of crying in the many babies said to suffer from colic. Some parents assume their babies have bellyaches because they draw up their legs when they cry, but babies do this when they hurt in any part of the body. Besides, specialists believe babies can't localize pain -- that is, no matter where the hurt originates, babies feel it in the abdominal region. Still, when you can hear your baby's belly gurgling, and when she doesn't calm down until you lay her on your arm and massage her abdomen, you know your baby's crying has to do with her digestion.

Preventing Food Allergies
If you have allergies, or if they run in your family or your spouse's, the best way to protect your baby is to feed him only breast milk for the first six months. You might also watch what you eat yourself. During pregnancy and the first year after birth, you might completely avoid common allergens that are not essential to your diet, such as chocolate, and take only moderate amounts of others, such as citrus. The key to a good breastfeeding diet -- to any diet, perhaps -- is moderation in everything. You might eat an orange for breakfast, for instance, instead of drinking a large glass of orange juice (which is equal to three or four oranges, but much lower in vitamins and fiber). You might have one chocolate instead of consuming the whole boxful, and eat only a small portion of beans, along with rice and meat, instead of a big bowlful of beans. You might change your protein sources frequently -- rotating among meats, nuts, lentils, and cheeses, for example -- since overeating one kind of food increases the chance of a reaction in your baby. Feed yourself as you will your growing child -- on whole, minimally processed foods, in variety.