Fast forward four years and you’ll find Connelly flourishing as a stay-at-home mother to her two daughters, ages 4 and 2, and expecting a third child in August. Connelly says her adjustment from the corporate world to staying at home took about a year and she admits that she still misses the excitement of her career, the money and exercising her brain power.

Stay-at-home mother Natalie Judelson agrees. “I miss the intellectual stimulation I received at my job,” she says. As a corporate attorney for an international bank in Manhattan, Judelson was at the high point of her career. She thrived in the excitement of doing corporate law, closing deals and managing a group of lawyers. “I was driven by my career and I was finally at the point that I had worked so hard to get to,” she says. “And then my daughter was born.”

Judelson tried to balance her roles as new mother and corporate attorney. She returned to work after three months, received a promotion and then decided to work part time. “I thought I could handle everything and be super woman, but I soon realized I wasn’t doing a good job at either place,” she says. “I left my job for good after my daughter’s first birthday. I loved my career but I realized that being home with my daughter was much too important to me.”

Changing Times
Catherine Mollner, licensed psychologist at the MidWest Center for Personal and Family Development in St. Paul, Minn., says women who leave their careers to stay at home must make many adjustments before they find reward and fulfillment in their new role. Since they no longer receive promotions, raises and performance reviews, they must find a new way to recognize themselves as doing something valuable. “Stay-at-home mothers have to figure out a different way to get their sense of worth and affirmation,” Mollner says. “The best way to do this is to connect to other adults and receive peer support through mothers groups.”

Connelly was desperate for adult contact with women in the same situation and joined the New York City chapter of F.E.M.A.L.E., or Formerly Employed Mothers At the Leading Edge, when her daughter was an infant. F.E.M.A.L.E. is an international not-for-profit organization supporting women who have altered their career paths in order to care for their children at home. “From the first meeting I jumped right in and volunteered to start a Web site for them and be their membership person.”

In addition to mothers groups, Connelly looked for friends who had interests outside of their children. “That’s the biggest problem,” she says, “Most people just want to talk about their kids all day. The people I have become really good friends with have a wide range of interests.”

Judelson also found support by connecting with other mothers, but she says her biggest support came from a source that had nothing to do with motherhood: taking a college course in Shakespeare. “I enjoyed those three hours a week much more than commiserating with other mothers,” Judelson says. “I loved sitting at a desk and being part of a discussion about something other than my everyday life.”

Returning to the Corporate World
Many mothers decide to return to their careers after their children reach school age, but they wonder if their careers will suffer as a result of staying home. Will they have to start their careers from scratch? “Absolutely not,” says Marilyn Anderson, career counselor at Bernard Haldane and Associates, Minneapolis, Minn. “It’s like riding a bike -- you can jump on and get going again.” How can mothers prepare to re-enter the job market? Anderson has a list of “dos and don’ts” for former fast-trackers ready to dip their toes back into the career pool:

DO make a list of achievements.
Ask yourself, “What did I do, how did I do it, what were my great results?” Then put together a resume that is organized by achievements rather than chronology. “Women are so used to doing it all that we often don’t take time to think of our skills and abilities,” Anderson says. “We haven’t been taught to project our achievements.”

DON’T apologize for raising a family.
According to Anderson, instead of saying “I’ve been out of the loop for five years,” women should say “I planned well. I had the opportunity to be home with my family -- that was important to me when my children were young. I have accomplished that feat and now I am ready to enter corporate America once again.”

DON’T mention plans for more children.
“That’s a red flag to a potential employer and it’s nobody’s business,” Anderson says. “If you are asked about family, you should say ‘Not at this time,’ which means not at this very moment -- that doesn’t mean it won’t change once you get home.

Any Regrets?
Judelson is happy with her decision to stay at home -- although she thinks going back to work would have been easier. “Staying at home is much harder, more frustrating and exasperating,” she says. “I love my daughter dearly and I don’t regret my decision, but there are times when I want to pull my hair out and I wish I were at a quiet desk reading a legal document.”

Connelly admits she thought she was going out of her mind during her first six months at home. “There were days I would have loved to have put my work clothes on and left my daughter for the day,” Connelly says. Even though she had doubts, Connelly doesn’t regret her decision. “Children are only young for such a short time,” she says. “Everyone says this, but it’s true. My career can wait -- my children can’t.”