Caring for your Newborn
There are many good books on nursing and infant care. Get them before your baby is born and become well acquainted with their contents. They contain the basics, and are available at all those lonely moments when your doctor, partner, best friend, and mother are not. Do remember that solicited (and often unsolicited) advice freely given may vary from person to person and book to book. Tender all you read and hear with as much common sense and a sense of humor as you can muster at the moment.

Getting Help and Advice
Pediatricians are quite accustomed to receiving frequent calls during those first few weeks, especially if this is your first child. Pediatric nurses and pediatric nurse practitioners may have more time and are easier to reach than the doctor. They are also very good at helping decipher if this is a medical emergency or just a situation that some good, sound advice or listening will handle. Many county health departments and some hospitals have nurses who will visit with you in your home. Check this source before the baby is born, and have the number handy for ready reference. The La Leche League is composed of women dedicated to be of help to nursing mothers. If you cannot locate a group near you, their book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, is excellent, and is one of many publications offered by them. Often childbirth educators have an open mind, a good listening ear, and some practical advice. Support, too, might come from couples who were in the prenatal classes with you.

Visitors and Well-Wishers
Visitors may be pleasant, and in some instances necessary, but restrict them! They take energy, too. With adequate rest, this first tenuous period will pass more smoothly. Re-thinking priorities will be a necessity now. A dirty house is easier to treat than a depressed mother or cranky child. If that dirt really bothers you, however, maybe a high school girl would be less expensive than a professional cleaning firm. Relatives as helpers work well for some, while not for others. Stock your freezer with enough food to get you throu8h the first two weeks with only the briefest of trips to the store and kitchen. Soups, one-dish meals, stews and casseroles are nutritious, and if ready to go directly into the oven, they will allow you to get a decent meal on the table and improve your outlook about feeding the family.

Heal Thyself
When it comes to taking care of yourself, Kegel exercises are invaluable in helping heal an episiotomy (or tearing or perineal stretching). They will also improve your sexual relations when intercourse is resumed. No matter how happy any woman is to have her baby, most are also quite eager to have their pre-pregnancy shapes return. Being able to wear only maternity clothes is depressing, especially if the child is already over a few weeks old. Many women have had those depressed feelings, talked them out, worked their body a bit, and are now trim again. To begin with, after delivery, on that very first day, pull yourself up as tall as possible, stand straight, hold in your abdomen, hold it in farther while you take several natural breaths, then relax. Repeat this throughout the day and make it a permanent habit. As soon as your health care provider feels you are ready, resume more strenuous exercises. The abdominal strengthening exercises learned by a father during a Lamaze class was later taught to his entire college swim squad as part of their training. It worked for them as well as for hundreds of new mothers.

More exercises can be found in a number of books, but perhaps it would be more fun to take an exercise class with other new mothers. Often these are available for a small fee and include baby sitting for those mothers who are expecting their second child. These mothers offer many insights to the uninitiated. Forming your own exercise group, swapping tips on child care while each of you catches your breath, might be another solution.

More than Parents
Some couples feel sexual desire long before the standard four or six- week check-up. If this is the case with you, talk to your health care provider, as advice varies considerably from one to another. All are in agreement, however, that conception is possible quite soon after delivery, even though you are nursing or have not had a menstrual period. Simple means of birth control such as vaginal foam or suppositories (available at any drug store without prescription) for the woman, and/or a condom (rubber) for the male, is advisable. Although one or both partners may feel strong sexual needs before that check-up, others are often relieved to have the medical restriction. Here, again, fatigue and tension are large contributors. A candle-lit dinner out, away from the demands of baby and home, might be a delightful addition to other suggestions of intimacy already made.

Trading time with a friend in caring for each other's children may be a help. Each of you will be able to do whatever you like, be it an extra nap, or some quiet shopping. This can make a big difference in your outlook.

Unique - and Individual - Experiences
Having a baby is always a unique experience. Some women who thought themselves ideally suited to motherhood as a full-time job found themselves living in conditions far less than desirable. Others who may have had successful careers, interrupting them only briefly for childbirth, may find themselves wanting to stay home indefinitely to be with their child. Each woman, and every woman, will have her own highs and lows where child-rearing is concerned. Each new day is filled with different experiences, new hurdles and new joys. As one father said: "We are given children so that we may grow." Perhaps some days you won't feel the need for that much growth experience, but this is often the case in learning. Some of your toughest courses in school may have taught you the most. One of the most difficult jobs on this earth, parenting, may also be the place where you learn the most.

About the Author: Linda Jenkins is a Registered Nurse and Childbirth Educator in Lafayette, California. She is also the author of "Pregnancy, Birth and You" and has produced several pregnancy and birth videos in both English and Spanish. She may be reached at Jenxl@aol.com or via her website at http://www.birthprep.com.